The Bitter-Sweet Junior Year

Perhaps it is another sentimental but serene season to be faced with, while I am reluctant to compare this one with any other sorrowful scenario, which has, in most cases, thrown our undergraduates into endless adventures in the past and nameless anxieties for the future. Be as it may, this time is distinctive and instructive as regards my bitter-sweet junior year.

The eventful junior year is somehow inextricable from the intermittent rain, which, to everyone’s continuous gossips, sometimes comes in downpours, and sometimes falls in drizzles. More often than not, the half-enveloped moon, the overcast clouds, the gloomy atmosphere--- all are common epitomes of the junior year--- can really set one complaining and contemplating for what he has lost, and more hopefully, what he has gained. I am no exception as well, for there are a few precious recollections that needs nourishing and enshrining as time passes by.

These days, I have to be level with, has found me in great turmoil. To begin my accounts, I have no clue as to how I have gone through the first two months of this term, as if the days evaded my recalling and vanished into nowhere. No particular hightlights could draw me back until our idyllistic journey to Wuyuan, a renowned fairyland for its spectacular rape flowers and pastoral countryside. We traversed the winding roads, flung oursevles about at the first glance of the boundless yellow sea, and watched the setting sun crept through the mountains. No place had been more splendid and refreshing than it is. Therefore, the short but happiness-ridden trip precipitated us to temporarily forget the tedious tasks and constantly remind oursevles of the wonders and beauty of the nature. It is bound to be one of the most treasured memories shared by two willing and caring hearts, one of which my sincere gratitude necessarily goes to.

However, happy hours, it is recognized, are ephemeral in that extreme joy begets saddness. Mine seemed to be a caveat against the smooth pursuit of happiness thanks to the illness which I got directly upon the return of the journey. An ailment, as originally anticipated, weaned me from taking it to the heart and unfortuately weakened the body. When I had to be treated by herbal medicines at home, a bewildering weariness preoccupied me. At that moment, free from many trivial stuff, I suddenly realized that my sheer perfectionism consumed and took the best of my capacities because in whatever I was doing, I strived to the perfection of them and was determined to vanquish the unreasonably negative thoughts, thus assuming an air of imperviousness to those I was not concerned with. The more I tired, the more I failed. Despite that I had noticed the weakness of my belief, I did not see the least point of unpractical cravings. In the end, all I had left was bitterness in the light of deep considerations. Through the battle inside me and the discourse between my father, I would like to jump at the chance to making due use of every day, leaving no room for remorse and discouragement. As James Cameron remarks incisively, “In whatever you are doing, failure is an option, but fear is not.” Being back and being myself, I am delighting on the former and pursuing the latter.*

Definitely, the Junior Year is a bitter-sweet period teeming with unforgettable memories. Nevertheless, when the end of it materializes, I oddly feel at a loss in the so-called glorious days and I am fear to project the sentimental picture into the same day in the next year. A sense of pity, in fact, thrusts me, owing to the reality that I am susceptible to the moving moments presented by other classes. If only they had happened to us and the bond be strengthened. If only we did not just smile and pass by. If only our world in miniature shared a mutually cherished memory. Presumably, I should not be appealing, only to be enlightened when all dust is settled.

To conclude, although driven by the unsettling mind, I am not inclined to muddle my head.

Not been there yet, it is time to say:“Hey, My Happy Ending and Good Luck~”