Pilgrimage

Time is always elapsing quietly and ruthlessly. A really long span since I renewed the last self-exposure. Admittedly, hardly can I recollect the mood when it dates back to the previous journal as the revolving routine has been constantly engaged me in the seemingly endless work. Well, I have no clue as to why now is the time to reveal myself. Maybe part of the reason lies in the recent series of incidents which I have gone through, or maybe the reason is as simple as the fact that no one wants to be silent in most cases, even when he considers himself to be a rather introvert person.

Firstly, I simply propose to clarify one thing before the theme unfolds: quite a few friends have complained to me in one way or another that I may challenge their understanding with so many obscure words, thus creating difficulties when they intend to get to know what’s happening. Anyway, truly thank you for your sincere feelings about me. My answer is fairly brief. I am not showing off and claiming my abilities to be superior. Just think for a moment: when you have taken your capacity to the next level, you are definitely eager to exhibit what you have obtained because it is a way to prove yourself to some extent. Nothing particular indeed. Therefore, I persist with my choice.

Seems I said too much about petty stuff. Time to go back to the point. The humiliating contest may be the primary underlying factor for revelation at the beginning. I was somehow both expecting for a presence at the finale and discarding the triumphant news. A paradox, so to speak, really perplexed me now that it was my debut on a formal English oral competition. I had to say the result was satisfying my original expectation, but the embrassing scenario haunted me for several days. The moment I stepped down the stage, I felt an overwhelming frustration chilled my body for the whole class had sacrificed enough to help me. Although the phase is over, I keep reminding myself to persevere to the end no matter what the result was. The lesson is quite instructive: life is a matter of successive accumulation so that we need to move on.

The absence of a roommate is another element that constitutes lonliness. Spending some days on my own is not a difficult task, but the atmosphere seems too oppressive and desolated. Who would have imagined that before, a scene where you have to be alone without others’ companion? It is so weird that the incident has given me much thought about the attitude when I perceive friendship. I just want to pose a question to whoever reads this article: Who would like to regard me as a friend given the truth that I may not be an ideal one to befriend with? Truth or happiness, never both. Actually, I can not help missing my old buddies, both those who had shared the past and those who are firmly standing by me now, and I am whole-heartedly grateful for everything exclusive. Sometimes I am not so courageous and brave enough at all to face the world alone. Reality is always intimidating, however, life is fantastic all the time.

Presumably, I have dragged this topic to an irrelevent angle, whereas the word”pilgrimage” is much more meaningful than a simple interpretation. The journey of life perhaps covers all the possibilities. In the end, it is my hope that everyone takes his unique path to the glamourous opposite side.